I use the title “On my quest to spirituality” because I had just signed up for my yoga teacher training. Life long goal of mine and I had always seen myself having this huge awakening of stars, explosions and lots of white lights. Instead, I was feeling fat, nauseated, wanting to scratch my eyes out, my AA boobies swelled to a full A cup and depressed like a mofo! What the fuck?!
On my quest to spirituality……..
A year ago I was dating a guy who was definitely, hands down the bottom of the barrel pick. Why? (I still ask myself that..) He was tall, dark, semi-toned, socially unacceptable and had a handful of missing teeth. ( visible missing teeth! Where he loved to flick his tongue through the gaping fucking hole) At that time, I really felt he was my last chance to being in love. (where did that thought come from?) But, anyways, I still chose to put up with his erratic behavior, severe weight loss (only dated 3 months) and small semi-hard dick. Because, clearly this was the man of my dreams! Well, low and be hold at the age of 33, I get pregnant with this dick wad! (in the last 17 years of having unprotected, stupid sex did I ever get pregnant! Agh!) Again, this must be the man of my dreams! The universe clearly had a plan for me……I should have let him stick it in my ass like he wanted and I wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament.